Sleep, Survive, Repeat...

I'm obviously horrendously bad at being consistent. Hey, it's in my nature! I can live with it; I have this long, haha. I've spent this evening doing some "technology cleansing," which consists of me deleting accounts I haven't used in years, deleting hundreds of Saved posts on my main Instagram account (I mean, it might have neared a thousand...), and doing a subtle revamp of this blog. The layout, the style of it, was getting old to me, and that's because it was old: I started this sometime in 2015 and I had more or less outgrown my fondness for the "aesthetic" of it. Even the way it is now is probably a temporary departure in no clear pursuit of a permanent blog style. iNcOnSiStEnT. :-) I've consciously and deliberately taken a break from writing since sometime this past summer. My drive for it comes in waves, the waters quickly calm, and at times the ship sails completely. I have this strong feeling lately of never wanting to write fo

Rather, it's amazing what I can accomplish with some better time management skills and re-prioritizing. Word count for today, this morning and tonight combined: 2,300. I think often of an interview with Laurie Halse Anderson I read as a teenager and how she spoke of aiming for 10 pages a day. What kind of magical place does she live in where the creativity flows nonstop and there are virtually no interruptions? I would like to join the community.  Word count in total: somewhere in the 25,000-26,000 range . A handsome start. This project is still in its infancy, really (I refer to it as a "project" rather than a "book," even still, because I can't shake the fear of perceived superiority if I were to say "book" or "novel").  I have zero confidence in saying I'll maintain this modest pace, but I do feel I've utilized today productively, given I've also gone back over previous chapters (actually, I haven't made proper

It's the (three day) weekend, which means oversleeping and requiring very little of myself in terms of productivity. My birthday is also in 4 days, so there's even more reason to give myself a much needed break. I'm thinking back to the year I turned sixteen and thought it was so old and strange, and something I had no idea what to do with. Fast forward eleven years and 27 is actually less of a big deal to me. I'm missing all that anxiety and internal clock ticking this time around for some reason, but I'm grateful for it. I feel no different than when I turned 16; my personality is no different. My body has changed, my circumstances have changed, and even the scenery has -- but I'm still me, and that's honestly just exciting.  Given that my "special day" will fall on the first 98 degree day, I'll be staying in and enjoying the passage of time in a low-key way. Cake will be scarfed down, movies will probably be watched, and I'm sure

So we're already through January. I powered through that month, screaming and crying. Is all the productivity worth all the grief and sacrificed down time? I'm still not sure. Anyway, I improved upon the house, followed up with some leads my dad gave me for making extra money online, and committed myself again to reading and making healthier choices (exercising included, which I have a love/hate relationship with). Writing took a backseat, mostly due to time constraints, a chaotic household, and some brain fog. I'm itching once again to work on something, so I know it's coming.  So those were all the good points. The bad points consisted of my mom breaking her wrist in a fall and requiring surgery to repair it. Also, a string of destabilizing Gemini emotions, whims, and ideas that I can't even keep up with; and which mostly steers quickly between heavy depressive states and, simply, working myself to death! What a ride!  I've read some very interesting th

Call me crazy, and it's quite possible I'm on my way, but I'm mildly excited about it being December. No, no, I hate the snow, and I don't have any real fondness for Christmas, but there's something about it being a whole new month, on the precipice of a whole new YEAR, that's got me a little stirred up. Sure, I'll miss the whole magical vibe of autumn (Halloween was grand), but I'm kind of ready to start a new year and a new mission(s).  The only real downside is my body insists on over-sleeping now. I have zero control of it. Chipmunks have the luxury of a pseudo-hibernation, where they sleep for a few days, wake only to go to the bathroom and eat, sleep a few more days, and so on. Why wasn't I born a chipmunk?! Here I am bundled up, half-asleep, shuffling around the house trying to accomplish tasks that were 50% easier to do in a warmer climate.  I'm trying to narrow down 2019 focuses, but I always get scattered or sidetracked one

My mom ' s cat, Merlin, is napping on my desk, and I don't have t he   h eart to move  h im. Cats rule everything around me, it's  true.  Monday! And so close to Halloween! I bought themed balloons, and only  having blown up 9 of them, I can see I  got  far too many and they'll need to be handed off to some trick-or-treaters... wit h  a warning that they may spontaneously burst (t h is  h as  h appened twice now). I've   delighted in hard  candy  in the colorful shapes of skulls and bones, and I have more decor items t h an I know what to do wit h , including the  newest additions: salt and pepper shakers -- one vampire, and one extremely enthused mummy  holding a carved pumpkin. They're  very cute. :)  T h is is an enormous t h in g  for me: I actually feel like doin g  some creative writing today -- as in, working on the project I be g an over the summer. I think  it ' s been unopened since August, so it will take me a little bit of time to sort of